More than a month in

As it turns out, I'm not great at living in Alaska.

I forget not to leave water bottles in the car.  They freeze.
I forget to cover my hands and my throat and my ears.  They freeze.
I forget I need to completely blow dry the ends of my hair.  They freeze too.

I forget to give myself extra time in the morning to scrape the ice off of my car, and I forget which acronyms to use at work, and sometimes I forget to wear extra little pants under my big pants.

Alaska is extremely beautiful.  It is also cold -- perpetual, consistent, unyielding, bone-cutting cold.
And it's odd.  And it's overcast. And it's more of a Boys' Club than I had ever expected.

For the last month and a half, my life has been consumed with this move (see blog).
I think that's expected, and I think it's ok.  But sometimes people bring up current events -- which I used to enjoy being up to date on -- and it makes me realize that I've been so wrapped in up myself and every tiny lesson I'm learning that I have somehow forgotten about the rest of the world. Why would I read the Economist or listen to NPR when the subject isn't my move to the Arctic?

Last summer, I suffered the loss of a beautiful relationship with a very good man.  The breakup was mutual.  And it was the right thing to do.  And it sucked very very much. Like many people do, I went through a party-centric period for the next few months.  I focused on myself and my happiness and did every single thing I felt like doing. I will never forget one morning few months afterwards, waking up and realizing that I was no longer "recently out of a relationship" and was instead just "BEING SELFISH."

I met a really amazing person this weekend, who was brave enough to open up to me about some things they were struggling with.  For the first time since coming here, I forgot myself for a while and got emotionally involved in someone else's journey and someone else's pain. At the end of the conversation, I suddenly realized that I was not the loneliest person in the room.  And I wondered for a long and horrible moment how many other people I have overlooked in my insistence of examining only myself.

So I guess my point is this: the move has been hard and continues to be.  I'm extremely interested in myself, and will probably continue to be the main topic in most of my blogposts and thoughts.  But I have spent more than an acceptable period of time pretending I'm the only person on earth. It's past time for me to get outside of myself a little bit, and to start thinking more about the struggles and successes of others.  And maybe even watching the news again.