The Caged Bird Sings

As I write this post, I'm sitting on an air mattress in my teeny tiny one-bedroom apartment.  I had leftover Pad Thai for dinner from a styrofoam box, and soon I'm going to a comedy show with people I don't really know.

When I stalk my friends on facebook, I can't help but notice that I'm in a very different place than many of my high school and college peers.  Many of them got married, produced small humans, purchased homes, and accumulated furniture.  Obviously I have not done these things.

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who thinks renting is a waste of money.  He explained investing and interest and some other things that bored the manners out of me.  So to many of you successful, mature, well-meaning individuals who may be understandably tempted by my first paragraph to lecture me about my life choices, I'd like to clarify something that I hope brings you relief.

I didn't decide not to participate in grown-up activities because I think they are a bad idea or because I think my lifestyle is superior or even because I didn't want to.  The thing is, different people value different things.  Many intelligent and lovely people value security.  I can respect that.  I can even understand that.  And every once in a while, I am envious of that.

But I don't think there's anything I value more than freedom.  That's why I rent a cheap apartment, own cheap possessions, and am slowly inching my way toward being a barren spinster.  Ultimately, it's also why I love my job. I know I would have more financial security if I invested in a home.  I know I'd be more comfortable if I had nice (or any) furniture.  I know that I would reduce my chances of dying alone if I stopped wandering around the globe and didn't use contraception.

And I know that on a regular basis, I fight for rehabilitation for parolees -- some of whom do not want to be rehabilitated and will eventually reoffend and contribute to the appalling recidivism statistics of the great state of Alaska.

But the thing is, I want freedom.  I want it for myself and for my clients and for baby killer whales. Even though I know it costs me money and security and relationships.  Even though my profession is found distasteful and unethical by many.  Even though I'm a Democrat;).  And even though it makes my loved ones worry.